Tuesday 8 July 2008

Ten Years Younger

I don't know why, but every tuesday I tune into Channel 4 at 8 o'clock to watch the hideous spectacle that is 'Ten Years Younger'. Let's just run through the 'Michelin starred team of experts':

NICKY HAMBLETON-JONES

There aren't strong enough words for the way I feel about this harridan! Mostly it's her no doubt self-proclaimed status: fashionista. Why would anyone take fashion advice from this woman? She dresses appallingly herself, and her approach to dressing her victims is entirely formulaic: coloured tights, pencil skirt, hideous tunic worn over long sleeved top and a massive black belt round the waist to set it all off.
In addition to that is her stupid glasses. How many pairs does she have? She'd have been far better using the no doubt exorbitant amount spent on them all to buy one pair that are actually NICE! What's worse is, whenever her subject wears glasses, she sends them off to have laser eye surgery- what a hypocrite!
I also find her unneccessarily cruel in her put downs. Trinny and Susannah pull off the tough love because they are at least compassionate. She is just vile, I can't STAND her!

JAN STANEK

This man is just creepy- that bit at the beginning where he snaps on the rubber gloves, and indeed this picture, make me shudder. I do find the surgery element to the show a bit off, to be honest. Gok et al work with what they have (and create better results, in my opinion), while 10YY is a total overhaul and I don't think that's a positive message to be sending out. Also, what's all this about him being a top surgeon? As far as I can see, he's only capable of acid peels and brow and face lifts!

ANDREW BARTON

Looks like a small child who's just found some scissors and is about to hack off the hair of his long suffering childminder: I would not let him touch my hair! He seems to have a thing about 'expensive blonde' (maybe he should talk to NHJ about this?), and like Stanek a bit of a one trick pony: obviously left hairdresser school after being taught how to do a bob!


LISA SHEPHERD

There are awards for everything these days, and this woman has one for colouring hair. I suppose if she is the best it's only a pity she can't do herself, although I do doubt this accolade as she never manages a terribly convincing colour on any of her charges. With this said, I do think it is wise of Nicky not to let Andrew anywhere near strong chemicals- all hell would break loose!



UCHENNA OKOYE

I don't have a problem with her as such, though I do wish she would veer away from veneers! Everyone on this programme does have dreadful teeth, but a bit of whitening and some braces is surely all that's needed in most cases. I rather feel that when (as she never hesitates to point out) each tooth costs between £800 and £2000 and she knows Channel 4 is footing the bill, floating pound signs cloud her judgment and she goes all out. The procedure wrecks the actual tooth, and therefore they need to be replaced every ten years, presumably by Uchenna...

LISA ELDRIDGE

The only expert worth the name, in my view. She always does a good job, and does so in a way any viewer could achieve. I reckon she should assasinate the others and do the whole programme herself. The end result wouldn't be much worse: all they ever need is a bit of make-up, better clothes (and Lisa dresses far better than Nicki!), and some confidence!



This is basically a much condensed version of the conversation that takes place between my parents and I every week, and yet we still watch this drivel without fail- 5 series on! It still escapes me why anyone would apply to be on the show, and my greatest ambition in life is to one day be approached by Miss Hambleton-Jones so I can tell her I believe her companion is about 18 months old. Let's see what that does to her stupid average!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

LIsa Eldridge rocks the show.
I hate the talk over as well..

Selina (Flying Saucer) said...

agree totally with your opinions! infact i was just about to do a post on lisa eldrige, she definitely holds the show and i love love love that prada dress she wears. nicky is insulting and so spiked, i loved it when the observer did an interview with her and totally slagged her off!